My Mom and Me

One of the hardest things in life is to watch parents turn into children as they age. My Mom’s health is deteriorating and there’s no one in my family who wants to take care of her except me. Oh, there are one or two friends and family who offer their few hours of temporary help but they have no idea what it takes to take care of my mom. If they knew, they would run like hell. You see, my mother doesn’t like anybody except me which is a curse at times. She is one of the most impossible people I have ever known but I cannot give-up on her because she was always there for me, because I do not abandon my responsibilities and because I love her – after all, she is my mom. Unfortunately though, I cannot plan anything. I just go from moment to moment. My days turn into nights and my nights into days as my life moves forward toward no direction.

And I wouldn’t mind all this so much if she didn’t complain 24/7, cooperated and did what the doctors told her. But she fights everything and at times, I’m truly too exhausted to do much else. I do not know for how long this will continue. Everyday I hope that things would get better so that I could get some normalcy in my life.

Outsiders do not understand as they ask why aren’t you on twitter or facebook, why aren’t you working on a new book or why did you get back to me so late? It’s difficult to explain my mom to anyone. Only those who have known her for years such as my father who is also extremely difficult in a different way than mom knows what she’ like. I’m not trying to make excuses but this is my reality. I haven’t the foggiest clue about how things will turn out. For now, I’m just doing the best that I can. And if you ask what is one of the most important things to me this very minute, I’d have to say, please life, do not let me turn out like mom and dad when I get old. But you know what they say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. And perhaps that’s one of the biggest fears I have – picking up all the bad habits of my parents once I reach their age. Although I have told all my friends, if I ever pick up my parents’ insufferable behaviors, just shoot me :)

Age gives you wisdom that the young will never know

Photography by: Tom Curtis

“Youth is wasted on the young” ~George Bernard Shaw

Today I’m a much happier person than when I was in my 20s and 30s. My whole life, I have never been a sheep by following other people's path. I have lived my life exactly the way I wanted and have done everything I have always wanted. So if I happen to die tomorrow, I will die a happy person with no regrets. But many people are not like me. Their eyes are always on what someone else has and does - they compare themselves to those around them. However, this is not a good philosophy because it makes them feel unfulfilled - the more they have, the less satisfied they feel.

When living your life, you must ask yourself what is it that “you” want to do with your life and not what the society wants you to do. Many are so concerned about impressing others with their careers, their competitive streaks and their successes. They have this need for the world to envy them and in the process they lose themselves and become nothing but an empty shell with little character. Of course, when you’re young, you don’t see this and you think you’re on the right path.

It is important to set goals but it is just as important to make sure that you enjoy the process of reaching them. And your goal can be as big as wanting to be a CEO to as small as wanting to have a small beautiful garden by next spring. But nevertheless, they are both goals and the person who enjoys the process instead of focusing so much on the end result is the real success. This is just my observation on life. I may be wrong or I may be right but it doesn’t matter. My goal today was to write a short article and I have not only enjoyed the process, I have accomplished what I set out to do. So, if you happen to pass by my blog, remember to enjoy life and worry less about how the world perceives you. Life is short and whizzes by at a lightening speed. Fill it up with love, family and friends and finding happiness in the small things.