Happy Mother's Day 2025

Mother's Day can be difficult for those of us who have lost our moms. I remember after losing mine, everyone would invite me to join their celebration for the first few years. After that, I started making plans on Mother's Day with friends who had either lost their mom, or their mom lived in a different state.

It's been fourteen years since my mother passed away. I don't think about Mother's Day anymore unless I get invited to someone's house or a friend wants to hangout with me because they're having a difficult time dealing with the loss of their mom. It's not that I don't think about my mother. I think about her every day when I look at a framed photo of her on my desk. But  I no longer feel the same sharp pain as I did when I first lost her. Of course, it took me five years to feel like myself again, and not break into tears each time someone mentioned her name. And it took another five years for me to accept that she was gone.

One of the things that I found helpful was making plans to go out with friends on Mother's Day. Another thing that was helpful was to pick up the phone, and wish everyone I knew who was a mom, a Happy Mother's Day. I found that most people really appreciated it when I called them even though they were not my mom. Because you see, Mother's Day is a day to celebrate women, and everyone who is a mom.

Not everyone takes as long as I did to get over their mom. I remember being at a luncheon gathering, and someone I knew came up to me and told me to be patient and that it took her eight years to get over her dad passing away. And just by talking to her, I felt comforted.

If your mom is alive, do not take her for granted, and make sure you visit her as often as possible. If you are a mom, have an amazing Mother's Day with your family. And finally, if you have lost your mom, know that the pain lessens as the years pass, and what's left will be the good memories that you shared.

  

Lost

I have lost my path, and need to find it back. I'm tired of all the hostility in our world. lately, I haven't been in the mood to do anything. Motivational speakers say don't listen to what your brain tells you. Get over it. Just do it. Although I do agree with this philosophy most of the time, there are times when I know I need to shut down. (image by Graham Gercken)

If you have been following me on my blog, know me from twitter, or have read my work, then you already know that I'm not just a writer, but also an activist. I'm not big, known, or anything like that. I contribute in my tiny way to help make the world a little better. One example is The Conscience, the humanitarian aid flotilla, that was bombed by Israeli drones in Malta. Everyone around the world made so much noise, pushing Malta to agree to repair it. Otherwise, all the aid workers on that ship would have died.

People don't like activists, and find them annoying. Even most writers roll their eyes, and stay away from carrying a conversation about injustice, because all they want is to sell their books, and don't want to offend anyone. But if it weren't for activists, no one would be enjoying a better quality of life and have some freedoms. Activists are the ones whose legs the rest of the society stands on. They risk their lives everyday so that we can live a comfortable life.

And I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about the leaders of human rights organizations, Amnesty International, student activist leaders, journalists, conscientious politicians and speakers, and many others who have a voice and use it to make people's lives better. I have a big appreciation for them, and do what little I can to support them. 

Unfortunately, I'm also an empath and soak up everything like a sponge. So, I need to disconnect when things become overwhelming like right now, in this chaotic world. Because if I continue, then my health would deteriorate, and I'll be no good to anyone.

So, I'm disconnecting for a bit to remind myself that there is also good in this world. I'm turning inward so that I can unblock whatever is holding me back from writing. I believe that it is in the quiet moments of life where we can find ourselves, and feel whole again. 

2025 LA Times Book Festival

The 2025 LA Times Festival of Books at USC is this weekend. I had a booth there when my last book came out in 2023. I also had a a booth at UCLA right before the publication of my second book. And since I have been to both locations, I can say with confidence that as a participant, I prefer UCLA, but unfortunately, it found a permanent home at USC.

Below are some advantages and disadvantages of having a booth at USC.

On the positive:

1. Your Books get some exposure

2. You get to meet your readers in person. This was the best part of the event for me.

3. Some of the visitors are friendly and love books, and even if they don't buy your book on site, sometimes they purchase it later on.

4. You may connect with other writers who want to keep in touch and share ideas.

5. If you can do this every year, people will begin to recognize you. I didn't do this every year, but there were a few people who knew me from when I had a booth at UCLA.

On the negative:

1. The money you invest in renting a booth, if measured monetarily, has a low rate of return

2. Getting ready for the event is super time consuming 

3. Once there, the set up is a lot of work even when you get help from friends and family. It's as though you're setting up an entire retail store, but it's only good for two days

4. You get strange people walking in who are there to see what they can get for free or to escape the hot sun for a few minutes. Some are borderline schizophrenic. I never had this problem at UCLA.

5. Although the staff promises to come by to see if you need anything, they never do. Again, I found UCLA to be much more organized, and helpful.

6. At UCLA, I had journalists and reporters visiting my booth, and I got some media coverage. None of that exists at USC unless you're a writer published by a large publishing house.

Should you decide to get a booth, here are some of the things you will need:

1. Sales Tax License

2. Credit card gadget the connects to your phone like square credit card reader

3. Some people will want to pay with a check. Let them. No one ever gave me a bad check for a book. Just check their ID.

4. Extra chairs, table cloth, decorations, stands that display your books, sales slip, guest book. free giveaways like pens and bookmarks, candy, and etc.

5. Extension cord and a folding dolly to carry your things.

6. Food and water because the lines to purchase can get long, and when you have a booth, you don't want to take too long to be away.

7. Someone to help you out, especially when you need a bathroom break.

8. Extra books. At least 20 copies of each of your books. It's better to have more than less. You can always keep some in the trunk of your car.

Would I ever do this again? I'm not sure. My experience at USC was disappointing. But if you are a writer, and are thinking about doing this next year, try to share your booth with 2-3 other writers. That way, you can help each other out. Plus paying for the booth will be more cost effective.

As for me, I'm not participating this year. I may just go, have a look at some of the booths, and buy Indie books. If you want to have a booth there, check out one of their events to see how others are set up, and chat with Indie authors and sellers to get pointers. 

Daphne's Wardrobe

A journey in nature. Among large old trees and serene walking paths at Descanso Gardens, there is a mystical exhibit called Daphne's Wardrobe.

Having had no idea what to expect, I imagined that I was going to step into someone's closet, learn about her life, and the interesting clothes that she wore. Well, I imagined wrong.

The exhibit combines works of female artists, to show human connection to nature through fashion, art, and photography. Because let's face it, in our virtual world, we have lost a great deal of our humanity, and have moved away from our roots like a tree that's been cut off from its roots.

Here, we are reminded that it's not natural for us to connect to manmade material things, and that true happiness lies in nature as we shed our exterior, and transform into something magical.

Nature-inspired dress that blends into the photograph, and can easily be missed.

Near the photographs, there are displays from the picture such as the above hat.

The highlight of the show were pictures  of the supermodel, Veruschka aka Vera Lehndorff. She was a beauty that didn't fit in at school, and later in the Parisian fashion world because she was considered too tall, gawky, and her features lacked softness. Fortunately, she couldn't care less, and pushed forward with her uniqueness. The above photo is a collaboration between Veruschka, and the photographer Holger Trülzsch. For that shot, she had to sit still for hours in the forest to have her body painted. You can find more here about the supermodel, Veruschka, and the photographer, Holger Trülzsch.

Veruschka had a turbulent past. Her wealthy father was killed by the Nazis, and she, her sisters, and mom were placed in concentration camp, and eventually became homeless. She had a hard time dealing with all that had happened, spent a lot of time in nature, and wanted to become one with the trees, and disappear.

As I left the exhibit, and the gardens, I couldn't help feeling grateful for my friend who had made a point of visiting this showcase. Without her recommendation, I would have missed out on this interesting thought-provoking exhibit. All in all, it was a great day spent in a space where nature overcomes technology.

Wake up Writers!

I'm disappointed in the writing community on Twitter. Why aren't writers talking about the illegal abduction of Rumeysa Oztruk? Plenty of writers don't want to get involved in politics. Okay, don't get involved. But really, c'mon. This isn't just about politics. This is about freedom of speech. This is about a PHD student writing an article and getting abducted on the streets of Boston by ICE because the Trump Administration disagreed with what she wrote. I don't know about you, but I feel that this is horrifying for writers. Imagine that you wrote a book or an article that the government disagrees with, and they grab you, and put you in jail. (image by: DG-RA)

Please don't be naïve, and say what does this have to do with me? Yes, this student was on a student visa, but her visa had not expired. And shortly before her arrest, they abducted Mahmoud Khalil from his home for practicing his freedom of speech. He had a Green Card. So, a valid visa holder, a green card holder, and soon they'll come after the citizens. (image by: Nondas Sapidid). 

This administration is not going after criminals on visa or with Green Cards. Oh, no. They're going after PHD, and Graduate Students. They're going after free thinkers, and scholars. They're going after you. Yes, you, writers!

Am I expecting too much from the writers on Twitter to speak up about this? Writing is not just about scene set up, show don't tell, dialogue, editing and will my book sell? It's about much much more than that. It's about having a voice and exercising that voice. I can't imagine living in a world where the government takes away my freedom of speech. Because now, not only I have to swallow all the obvious corruptions, I'm not even allowed to live under the "illusion" of democracy. It's like being in jail, and they give you a piece of old dried up moldy bread, and then they decide that even that's too much, and they take it away from you. You have nothing. Am I supposed to shut up, and not talk about it? As a writer, I might as well not exist. What's the the point when all I'm allowed to do is write nonsense, pretending that all is good when my guts want to explode. I don't know about you, but I cannot stay silent. (image by: rawpixel.com)

And may be no one gives a s--t about what I write, but at least I have practiced my First Amendment rights. And this too goes for writers living in other so called "democratic" western countries. The loss of our freedom of speech is worse than the Bubonic Plague, the Spanish Flu, the Bird Flu, or the Corona Virus, and will eventually effect everyone. Except that there will be no vaccine. Stay silent, and soon you will have lost all your freedoms. It's fine if you don't want to get on the streets with signs and banners. But the least you can do is to write about it, and make some noise. (image by freepik).

 

History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people. 

—Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Artistic Freedom

My cousin and I planned to go see A Complete Unknown at a theater in Santa Monica next to the Elephant restaurant where we ended up having espresso martini afterwards, and discuss the movie. It's on DVD already, but we wanted to support the disappearing movie theaters. If you are a creative, such as a musician. a writer, an actor, an artist, or ..., you should see this movie. It is difficult for artists to thrive unless they succumb to what is expected. This pressure on artists oftentimes kills their creativity. (image by KoolShooters)

Speaking from a writer's perspective, we are squeezed to fit a mold, and any departure from that mold renders us untalented—such as "show, don't tell," or "your book must belong to a genre or it will not succeed," and so on and so forth. Writers who are different are not accepted by the elitists, the literary society, and the mainstream editors. The critics, reviewers, and readers jump all over the writer if their work does not fit in the status quo. And this is no different in the music industry. (image by Mohamed_hassan)

Bob Dylan, portrayed by the actor Timothée Chalamet, is a young hungry musician, who at the beginning of his career, does as he is told to make a name for himself. Even so, he is direct, and has no problem telling people off when they're in the wrong. As he gains fame, he realizes that being famous isn't all that it's cut out to be, and the strain of fans following him everywhere, touching him, and never giving him a moment of peace starts to wear him down. He keeps going back to his ex, Suze Rotolo, portrayed by the actress Elle Fanning, because he feels at home when he is with her. (image by Porapak Apichodilok)

When he cheats on Rotolo with Joan Baez, she leaves him. Dylan is attracted to Joan because of her beauty, talent and fame and because they are both musicians. However, Joan Baez has a different vision for the two of them, a vision that later Dylan realizes they do not share. She wants him to continue in the same path, and he wants to do something different. He wants to write new songs and play his electric guitar which gives off sounds that people living during that time period were not familiar with and did not enjoy. It ends up with the sponsors, the crowd, and Joan hating him for wanting to vary his path. (image by Yabee Eusebio)

The next day, I was talking to someone about this who said, well, he was getting paid for his work, and there were certain expectations from him. And I get this. It is a business, the sponsors want to make money, and the audience wants to get their money's worth. But here is the thing, some people embrace fame and do as they're told. Others, like Bob Dylan, think that they want fame, but once they get it, they realize that it isn't all that it's cut out to be. Bob Dylan wanted to express his creativity and not be defined by other people's desires. What was interesting was that after everything blew over, Dylan went on to do amazing work, and his electric guitar music, and his songs captivated the hearts of audiences everywhere. The sad part was that he lost his girl because she couldn't compete with the likes of Joan Baez, and his fans. Suze knew that she would always take back stage in his life, and left him. (image by Alena Darme)

This movie brought back so many memories. My brother, and our two childhood friends used to play Bob Dylan and Joan Baez songs all the time. And some of the musicians portrayed by the actors in the movie are so familiar that I felt as though I had stepped back in time to when I was thirteen. Dylan and Baez were from a different generation, but we all enjoyed listening to their records. Yes, records and not sound tracks, CDs, and downloads. (image by Elviss Railijs Bitāns)

I highly recommend this movie, especially if you are a creative, or are familiar with their music. And although this movie has been out for quite some time, if you are able to, see it at the movie theater, because sometimes you run into the strangest people, and have a good laugh. My cousin and I were seated towards the back, and this lady seated five rows down yelled at us for speaking too loudly. Mind you, the movie had not started. There were not even commercials on the screen. My cousin and I are generally not loud people. My cousin bickered with the lady, and then turned to me, and said, this isn't a spa, which made me laugh. Later when the movie came on, the same lady was singing along with the musicians on the screen. And I almost went up to her to say, "Hey, be quiet. I want to listen to their singing and not to yours." So, there you have it. The joy of attending public venues. (image by Nadin Sh)

Astra Lumina and caffé Bene 

Having forgotten all about the Oscars, I had plans to celebrate my friend's birthday a week early. On a freezing night with painful winds, we headed out to South Coast Botanic Garden in Palos Verdes Estates for a light show called Astra Lumina. Their website describes it as a walk among the cosmic stars. It seems that many exhibits today are focusing on light, music, and their effects on our senses.

Couple of things to note: 

1. You have to either sign your email releasing them of any liability or sign on their tablet once you get there or they will not let you in. 

2. They have one of those annoying airport security thing that you have to pass through. 

3. If you have any type of mobility or vision issues, this venue is not for you. It's pitch dark, and the trail is uneven. 

We were lucky that it was the Oscars, and there weren't too many people there. When they told us to follow the yellow lights, I felt as though I was in Wizard of Oz.

Take a look at the above video and the picture that follows it (a screen shot of the video). When we were there, we did not notice that image until I loaded it on my laptop. Also, when you first watch the video, there are only trees. The image appears later. I'm guessing it's an illusion created by light. But how come the other videos on YouTube, don't have that image? Weird!

Well, the temperature wasn't below zero degrees, obviously. But hey, I'm from L.A, and anything that falls below 60 degrees is freezing.

You see those lights on the ground in the above video, they make you feel dizzy when you're walking, specially in the dark where you can't see the bumps and lumps on the trail. So here, my friend and I were talking about how you need to be there to experience it, because videos are one dimensional and you need all your senses to take in everything.

Again, have a look at the video above, and the photo below it. My friend and I did not see that object and it wasn't until I got home that I noticed it on my laptop.

Almost time to leave. We were complaining about the tablet that they made us sign. It didn't work properly, and they kept saying sign it even though I had made several attempts as the wind blew my hair into my eyes, and I was getting irritated with the whole thing. I mean, if it was so important for them to get our signatures, why not make it a point to sign in, or agree in the email instead of putting it in fine print where no one would pay attention. 

There were a few other things there that I didn't cover here. It was good, overall. Would have been nicer if it was warmer. But this was not the highlight of the evening. You will see it next as we began looking for a place to have tea.

Google gave us Caffé Bene as a nearby place in Torrance. Neither of us had ever been there. We got there an hour before closing time, ordered Chai tea latte which was meh, and went to sit down.

Now, most places don't close at the exact closing time. They stop serving, but they let their customers hang out for a bit. Not this place.

At precisely 10 p.m, a school bell rings and a song comes over the speakers: it's time to go home...thank you for coming by...It's time to say goodbye...goodbye...see you again. In all my life of living here and travelling, this was the first for me as I watched everyone line up in an orderly fashion and leave. 

After getting over the initial shock of the school bell, the song, and everyone doing as they were told, my friend and I had a good laugh. It reminded me of when my niece was four, and her mom would sing, "Clean up, clean up, everybody clean up," as the two would go around the house cleaning up the mess my niece had made. If you're ever in Torrance, you must try this café before closing time. It was quite an interesting experience. 

A Tribute to Gene Hackman

It was disheartening to find out that one of my favorite actors died along with his wife and dog. I'm not into being a "fan." Well, maybe when I was a teenager, but as an adult, I don't chase people down, grab them, or try to photograph them. If I like someone, it would be because I like them for who they are, and their talent as an actor, musician, or artist, and not their status. Gene Hackman was one of my all-time favorite people. I have had run ins with some nasty people and their offspring in Hollywood, and he was not like that.

Once long ago, he stood behind me in line with his friend when I was picking up my car from the service department. I turned discreetly to glance over because my brother had asked me if it was him. Hackman realized that he had been spotted, and gave me a big old smile. The vibes that I got from him, and my intuition told me that this guy was humble, kind, and friendly. I'll always remember that day, and it makes me so sad to hear about what happened to him, and his family.

The two awful things here are that according to the papers, his and his wife's death may not have been natural deaths, and two, no one knew about it for two whole weeks! If my family doesn't hear from me for a day, They'll call the police, the fire department, the county sheriff, and who knows who else. Not a single person tried to get in touch with them for two weeks?

When I lived abroad, a student didn't show up to class for a few days, and our teacher was asking the entire class if anybody knew what happened to him, and where he lived, because she was worried. She asked us to go check-in on him, and see if he needs help.

I had a French neighbor at the time who spoke incessantly, and I dreaded running into her everyday. Then one day, I realized that I hadn't heard from her for two days. I knocked on her door, to see if she was alright.  She was so happy, because apparently, no one else cared about her, not even her parents. She said that she had been sick. I offered to get her soup and medicine. She wasn't even my friend, and I got worried all the same.

I call or text my friends and family regularly. I want to make sure that they're doing okay. I think that it's important to look out for people we care about.

Rest in peace Gene Hackman, Betsy Arakawa, and dog. You will be missed. 

A Dublin Stroll

So many things went wrong, and strange things happened in the past week that I cannot even explain it. It felt as though I was enveloped in negative energy. Life is beginning to fall into place. I hope that nothing else will go wrong. Here are some pictures and videos of the areas I visited while in Dublin.

I stayed at Mespil hotel, and do recommend. It's situated in a local area, a 30-minute walk to the city center, and a 12-minute stroll to the museum of literature, and St. Stephens Green. As you can see, I love to walk. That's how I learn about a city, and where everything is located. The views above are of banks of Grand Canal across the street from where I lodged (sorry about the quality of the videos. I had to change the resolution in order to post it on Blogger.) It was under construction at the time. I imagine that it would look much nicer when the fences are removed. 

I bought a sandwich from a nearby market, and went to sit on one of the benches along the canal. Well, I shouldn't say "eat," because the birds got to eat most of it. As soon as I unwrapped my food, they all joined me. I ate the vegetables inside, and they ate all the bread. But that was fine by me. I don't mind sharing with my fellow nonhumans. 

Dublin has a deep past, and every corner you turn, you recognize various figures who marked their name in history. During one of my walks, I ran into Pembroke Road lined with beautiful trees, and Georgian style buildings, steps away from my hotel. I discovered something that I never expected. Who knew that I was staying so close to the home of one of my favorite people, an activist, and a musician. At the entrance of Lansdowne hotel, I noticed a tribute to Sinéad O'Conner, indicating her place of birth at 13 Pembroke Road.

I walked up and down the street, and asked around to find the address. The above is a photo of where she was born. I spent a good amount of time there, trying to figure out which one was the place where she was born. But no luck. Still, I was happy to be there. I like her because she was different, not because she tried to be different, but because she just was. She didn't follow the herd, and had a voice.

This picture was taken when I was going through the residential part of Grafton Street. After a British Royal died, the Irish were told to paint their doors black in mourning. Given the friction between Ireland and Britain, the Irish painted their doors in bright colors in defiance.

I was to meet up with my friend Dominika, but I had arrived too early. Of course, there was a gelato shop, 💙 Cloud Nine, right there at the Bachelor's Walk along the Liffey River, and I just had to try it out. It was yum. Cloud Nine has several locations. In fact, when it comes to gelato, Dublin puts us to shame where texture, taste, and creativity is concerned.