Sinéad O’Connor’s death and why we need more than one reason to live

 

 

The headlines read, “Sinéad O’Connor dead at 56,” and as I read the article, I wonder about the mental health of our world. But before I get to that, I grew up listening to Sinéad O’Connor and when she came out with a shaved head singing Nothing compares to U, everyone was blown away by her talent. I thought she was one of the few women in the world who could carry the shaved head look because she was perfectly exquisite, but perhaps it was her beautiful soul that radiated from within her. I love the fact that she was a non-conformist and an activist. I identify with her. She was real, saw the truth and said it as it was. She stood up to nonsense, and was defiant all the way to the end. I just wish that both she and her son hadn’t died before their time. They could have contributed so much to this world that’s often superficial and unyielding.

When I found out about her death, and read the article, thanks to yahoo that doesn’t miss a beat when it comes to bad news, I thought about my own mortality and those around me. I turned 61 this July 16, and it’s been difficult to see people so much younger than me die. Many who died committed suicide, but what about those who had cancer, heart attack or died in a car accident? Someone told me today that life is like a game of cards and things depend on the hand you’re dealt with. My father used to say that I must be resilient and fight back, and my Mom would say, what’s the matter? It’s not like you have a terminal disease. You can change your life as long as you have your health. But what if you don’t have good health? What then?

I’ve been limping for the past three months. My doctor tells me that there’s a mild fluid in my knee. So, I do my exercises, ice, elevate, compress, and try to stay off it as much as possible. I also have Psoriasis which got much worse after my mom passed away and I haven’t to date recovered from my illness.  And let me tell you, Psoriasis is a debilitating disease. It’s like the universe’s way of saying, I’m not going to kill you, but I’m going to make sure that you suffer for the rest of your life. Add to that the fact that I need to lose weight and have tried on many occasions and failed, and now I can’t even move much. So, my list of health issues continues…What if this is it? What if I will never get better? And most importantly. Why am I even sharing this information? What’s my point?

My point is that life sucks sometimes, but you keep pushing forward and fight back. I think that it’s not enough to just have one reason to want to live. You need to have many reasons to want to live. My parents lost my sister to a bus accident when she was eight, but they needed to stay alive because they had to take care of me and my brother. When my mother was dying of cancer, and I was sleeping at the hospital every night, I kept calling my dad in Iran because I couldn’t get ahold of him. Finally, I got a call back from him, telling me that he was hit by a motorcycle and that he was in the hospital, had a massive operation on his legs, and he was in a lot of pain. He was crying, and it was heartbreaking to listen to this independent strong man who was my rock cry, and not be able to help him, because I was in the U.S. taking care of my mom. After my mom died, I didn’t want to live, but I had to because I had to take care of my dad. And after my dad passed away, I had to stay strong because my brother and my nieces needed me and so on…That’s why in life, we all need many many reasons to want to live because life can be amazing.

If we only look at the bad, we will miss all the good such as a woman who saves a baby from a burning car, a firefighter rescuing a pup from under a rubble, a man risking his own life to save a drowning man in turbulent waters, and the list continues…There are checks and balances in the universe. With every bad, there is good. With summer, comes fall, with fall, winter, and with winter, spring. My father was prone to depression, and he dealt with it by working all the time, having no time to think. My mother worked in her garden to keep busy, and my friends and family find different ways to deal with sadness.

  

When I’m not happy, I deal with it by listening to music, walking (not as much now because of knee issues), painting inside the lines of a coloring book, going out, watching a movie, reading, and meditating. We all need to find out what works for us and do that in order to keep sane. After COVID, the world took a turn for the worse, and it seems that the mental health of people is in danger, and needs to be addressed. I don’t think there were as many suicides before COVID (I don’t trust the bogus statistics), and it’s a shame because many people who killed themselves were kindhearted, and could have contributed so much to society. When life gets unbearable at times, we need a moment to let go, and realize that this will pass too. Time may not help us forget things that are important to us, but it will lessen our pain and help us heal.

 

10 tips to overcome Depression and Migraine

Photographer: Salvatore Vuono

Once in awhile, Depression and headaches are normal in your life. But when they happen too often, then you need to take care of the problem. Many situations, such as an illness, loss of a job or a relationship gone wrong, may affect your psychological health. What indicates a healthy mind, body and spirit is how quickly you bounce back from depression and migraine headaches. So here are some tips that have helped me in my life and I hope that they will help you to a fast recovery.

1. Limit your television time. The radiation from T.V affects your brain and television in excess has been linked to depression. Basically limit your time when you use all technologies – PC, Cell Phone and etc.

2. Don’t just go to a gym or a closed space to exercise. Get out doors and go for a long walk, preferably somewhere with lots of trees. The walking, the fresh air and the sun or the clouds (yes, the clouds!) increase the serotonin in your brain and help make you feel better.

3. Don’t read or watch the News 24/7. Sometimes all the bad news can sour your mood. I should know. I'm a human rights activist.

4. Change your diet. Toxins in foods cause Migraine and depression.

Vegetarian: I once sat at a lecture given by Charlotte Gerson and she told us how both she and her father got rid of their migraines permanently by avoiding animal products and yes, that includes milk, eggs, cheese and yogurt. Also, if you can afford it, eat only organic or if you have a garden, plant your own food. Pesticides and toxins stay in your system and cause havoc on your body. But if organic food is too expensive for you, then wash your fruits and veggies in ½ cup vinegar and ½ cup water, leave it there for about 15 minutes and dry.

Carnivore: If you can’t live without animal products, then you must eat only organic. Also, do your own research or subscribe to Dr. Mercola’s newsletters who will teach you all there’s to know about animal products. Non-organic meats and products come from animals which are injected with antibiotics and are given garbage food to feed on to make them plumb and suitable for Corporations to make fat profits.

Also, Stay away from caffeine, sodas, diet sugar, fried foods and junk food. They have a tremendous negative impact on depression and migraine headaches because they’re filled with toxins. Better to learn to like herbal tea and to replace junk food with organic raisons, dates and fruits.

5. Get at least 6-8 hours of sleep. Your brain cannot function properly without adequate amount of sleep. If possible, it’s better to always go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time. 

6. Keep your colon clean by juicing. Drink 8 oz vegetable juice, 8 oz carrot juice and 8 oz fruit juice everyday. It is really important to have regular bowl movement everyday so that your body can get rid of all the toxins that enter your body from the air, water and food. FDA & EPA do not have your best interest at heart. They work for corporations!

7. Avoid drugs and go for natural supplements. My favorite websites for learning about what’s good for you are DR Mercola’s, Natural Health News and Gerson (With Gerson, you need to be a patient or buy their books/dvds or attend their seminars but it is well worth your money.)

8. Meditate – Meditation is really hard for many because they cannot sit still. Some people have told me that when they shut their eyes, all they can think of is their problems. So, here’s a trick, let the problem come to your head, take several deep breaths and let it out and then say, I will deal with you after I’m done with my meditation and then let it go. Keep doing this with each problem that comes to your mind until your mind goes blank. If this still doesn’t work for you, then put on a mellow classical music, lay down and cover your eyes with an eye mask, take in a few deep breaths, and allow the music to relax you for 5-10 minutes.

9. Keep a journal and write down your feelings about the person who dumped you, the bills that are piling up on your desk, the pain you have in your legs or whatever else you want to write about. You may even want to write a letter to that person you’re so angry at just to get your feelings out. You can always discard it later or perhaps decide to send it – whichever works for you. 

10. Make good friends. I have a handful of great friends and a loving family. When I fall into depression, I don’t want to call anyone. But my family and friends are persistent like me and somehow figure out a way to find me. As they push me and I grumble and respond in irritating tones, I eventually come out of my shell and chat which always makes me feel much better.