Social Media

I met up with a friend today. I was telling her that I don't like social media. A few close friends know everything about my life because I share everything with them. I don't hide things. They know me—my ups and downs, my moodiness, why I behave a certain way, and why I do what I do. They know all about my struggles, and I know all about theirs. But I cannot share all the details about my life here. So, my actions oftentimes come across as cold, erratic and crazy. 

I prefer knowing people in person. Hanging out one on one. I sometimes spend time with my cousin and her mom. But there are times when we want to get together just the two of us without her mom. Because the intimate conversation we share is different than the conversation we have when her mom is around. 

There is no way that we can have this sort of connection online. There is much to be said about meeting someone in person and getting to know them. I once tried to connect with someone in the writing world. I "knew" her on twitter, and when I learned that she was going to be at a book show in L.A. I made plans to meet up at the booth where she worked. But that was the end of it. She never put in the effort to meet at another book event. Even our conversations on twitter were shallow. 

I sometimes feel empty when I'm online. It effects my mental health. I want so much more. I want that deep connection. But that deep connection does not exist over a bunch of wires, and electronic gadgets. I prefer spending time in real life. That's why I step away from being on social media. And that's one of the reasons among many that I was contemplating deleting my accounts recently, but I couldn't do it. Something stopped me.  

Here in the U.S, everybody is always busy. Busyness is equivalent to productiveness. It's looked upon with admiration. But in other countries, busyness is not always admired. It's that human connection that's admired above everything else. We all have things to do. We all have work that we need to finish. But if we really wanted to, we would make time for things or people we care about. 

Before driving to Berkeley to visit my niece last weekend, I had a lot to do, and I didn't feel like making such a long drive. She had plenty going on between her studies, internship, charity work, club meeting, and her friends. But we both made time for each other, and ended up having a great time. It is moments like these that I wouldn't trade for anything. 

So, real life vs. social media. Which one do you prefer?

 

 

Minimalism

I don't enjoy clutter and chaos. When things are scattered everywhere, and I can't find something, I get frustrated. I'm on a journey of minimalism. I guess I've been on this journey for years, and have been improving. I used to collect things: coins, stamps, clothes, shoes, purses, custom jewelry, decorations, and on and on. In my twenties, I once lost an important business contract, and when my dad walked into my room to help me find it, he said, "Geez, an elephant could get lost in your room, and we would never find it." (image by Freepik)

I'm a different person now. I rarely exchange gifts with friends. I prefer sharing experiences. I used to love shopping, so much that I didn't use half the stuff I owned. Nowadays, sometimes I buy things from large online companies because it's convenient, but I only buy what I need. Other times, although rarely, I make a purchase from a small business owner when I don't need anything. I do this to support them, and because their shop is unique. (photo by wayhomestudio)

 

Those around me know that if I send them a card, or mail them a meaningful gift, I consider them truly special, and an important part of my life, because it's not something I normally do, and I don't have the patience to wait in a post office line. After owning a brick-and-mortar retail store for four years, I stopped enjoying shopping all that much. I prefer spending time with those I care about. And although I'm a writer, when it comes to writing cards, I'm terrible at it. (photo by pencilparker)

As for my relationships, I'm choosy. Some people have a ton of friends, and I used to be that way when I was younger, but not anymore. Most of the time, it takes me a longtime to befriend someone, and once in a blue moon, I form a bond quickly because our energies are similar. I treat my social media accounts the same. I don't want to befriend thousands of people. I notice that on twitter or Facebook, people follow just about anybody just to gain followers. I'm not that way. I find smaller communities homier and warmer. I guess you could say that I apply minimalism to all aspects of my life. (photo by florendia)

(photo by Darwin Vegher)
 

Yesterday, I was trying to find the attachments to my waterpik. I searched high and low with no luck. As I turned each drawer upside down, I got pissed. I'm now determined to go through my entire house, and throw things out.

This will take months, maybe even a year, with my garage, car, bedroom, drawers, closet, kitchen stuff, office supplies, all the paperwork, emails, texts, and etc., while fitting in work, and everyday life. But I know that when I'm done, it will all be worth it. BTW, I love the below documentary on minimalism. It's something that I aspire to. I'm not certain that I can be like Joshua and Ryan, but I will look to them as my guidelines to simplify my life.

 

Copycat

 

A lot of people have no imagination and just copy what someone else does. It takes thinking and creativity to be original. I’d rather be an original than a fake. Even if this means that I may fail a lot before I succeed.

I have noticed lately that some people look at the photos on my blog, and then go and post similar photos. My posts are all original. I don’t go around looking to see what others do and then copy them. And if I do this, I make it a point to be obvious about it and say I got this idea from someone on the internet, twitter, Facebook or something to that effect.

Even my books are original. And I know that gets me into trouble oftentimes because reviewers don’t know where to place me. When I enter contests, there is often no specific category where my book could be placed. Even my first book is not just a “romance book.” But I don’t care. I don’t want to fit in. Fitting in is boring. As Gloria Gaynor says: "I am what I am, I am my own special creation." And I like to keep it that way. How sad it is for those who just copy.

I mean, it’s okay to research and see what others are doing to get ideas and to make your creativity flow, but to copy exactly what someone does is not cool. Anyway, that’s my rant for today. I’m just tired and am going to reduce my activity on social media and focus on my book.