Malware: Trojans and virus and why I love them

Photography by: Salvatore Vuono

Yesterday morning after I turned on my PC and waited patiently for my files to load, you sent me a present – colorful lines vibrating up and down my monitor, making me think I had lost all my files and that my system had crashed. Now had you done this to me five years ago, I may have panicked and rushed to the idiots who work for large computer chains who don’t know their left hand from their right but oooopsssss you didn’t do this to me five years ago, you did this yesterday and in fact you have been doing this to me consistently ever since I signed up for twitter.

What’s the matter with you cowards? Are you afraid that I seek the truth and post it online? You and I both know major news is controlled by big $$$$$ and the amount of misinformation fed to the unassuming public is horrendous. Luckily, I know when you’re trying to feed me junky bias information. And every time, you try to break me, I come out that much stronger. So baby, you’re wasting your time.

Once I learn all the ways to protect myself while online, I will pass it on to all my friends. So, thanks. Thank you so much. Because you see, I am a procrastinator by nature and often let things slip by but I love it when you aggravate me and light up the fire that pushes me to crush all your lies. In fact, I’ve been procrastinating about posting on my blog for some time and you dear friend, inspired me to write about this. Much love and thanks to you. Kiss Kiss :)))

And to anyone reading this, here is a few suggestions until I can think up of more ways to beat these hackers whose brains are smaller than a green pea!

1. Don’t be lazy like me and back up your files everyday.
2. Make sure you have several copies of your files stashed in various places and not just in your home, especially if you’re an activist.
3. Save your money to purchase more PC/Laptops. It sounds like a waste but it’s not. Even if you buy extra used ones, it’s good to have them around, especially if your work depends on it.
4. Change your passwords frequently. And put passwords on your important documents. Sure they can hack it anyway, but why let them get by so easily. Make them sweat and work for it.
5. Have a bunch of anti-virus, Trojan and spyware detectors because if one program misses the problem, the other one will catch it.
6. Have lots of friends so that you can all help each other out. Because there’s always a friend who knows someone who knows someone who can help.
7. Never ever panic. Be like a hacker when your system doesn’t work. Think and don’t be afraid to try different things. Remember, a hacker was never born a hacker. He/she kept playing around with their PC to learn the ropes.
8. Oh and once you proudly fix the problem, give your hacker the finger because it feels so mmmm good!

Am I a computer expert? Absolutely not. I’m just like the rest of you but I never ever give-up and I be dammed if I’m going to let the idiots who hack me, beat me. I always ask a lot of questions, watch to see how others do it, read anything I can get my hands on and never let anyone tell me what I’m capable or not capable of doing. Trust me, hackers are not that smart, they’re just malicious. Always stay calm in any situation and your brain will figure out a way to beat them at their own game.