An Escape To La Jolla

Left L.A for La Jolla with my friend for an early birthday celebration. She wanted to try out Shiku Sushi that I raved about so much. We had no idea what traffic was going to be like. It took us about three hours. L.A is so unpredictable. But I just wanted to go somewhere for half a day. The potential of an escalated war between the U.S and Iran has been difficult to cope with.

We stopped at Shiku to grab lunch. My friend wanted to try everything on the menu because everything looked so good. But you know what they say, Your eyes are bigger than your stomach. We had my favorite—Agedashi Tofu which I wrote about the last time I was there, and Tofu Geisha, and Hippie Gangsta minus sundried tomato because they were out, but they replaced it with zucchini tempura.

We walked around a bit, and went inside the Valencia hotel. The staff there is so nice. The beautiful fresh flowers above decorate their lobby.

This fountain was so pretty that I had to take a shot.

There are a bunch of shops in this passage, but most were closed by the time we got there. La Dolce Vida restaurant looked interesting. We saw one or two coffee shops that were open till midnight which surprised us. We thought people in La Jolla go to bed early. Also, the area has so much variety from Japanese food, to Italian, to sea food, to Indian.

We wanted to go walking by the water, but it was starting to get dark. We found Coast Walk Trail and climbed for a bit.

The entire area is so lovely, and the water looks so clean.

There is a restaurant called Eddie Vic with an entrance from Prospect Street (I think). As you can see it has great views. We were debating as to what kind of food it served. It turned out that we were both wrong. It's a seafood and steak place, not Italian, and not Chinese 😄 After hanging around the area, we walked down and checked out the boutique hotels, quaint eateries and a small market. Then we climbed up, and headed back because it was getting late. We got back to L.A around midnight. It was a relaxing getaway. That's what I like about L.A. It offers so many places nearby and makes you feel like you're on a mini getaway. 

The Human Side of War

I'm tired and haven't been able to sleep much ever since Israel hit Iran on June 13, and assassinated their negotiator. I'm eventually going to post about as to why. I've been following it day and night, and have a good idea about what is going on. But this post is about the human side of war. It's about the civilians. It's about grandparents, fathers, mothers, children and extended families on both sides.

I'm not close to any of my family in Iran. In fact, I have not seen or talked to them in many years. But still, I'm concerned about them. So, I ask my brother, cousin, and extended family if they have any news. Is everyone okay? 

I also know people here who have friends, and relatives in Iran, as well as in Israel. Someone told me today that her family packed to leave the city of Tehran to a safer place. She said that her grandmother refused to leave because her pillow didn't fit in her suitcase, and she needed to have her pillow. They were all in a rush as they heard sounds of explosion from the surrounding areas. Even so, they made sure to find room for the pillow. Now, this may sound ridiculous to an outsider, but when you're in a situation like that, you're not thinking clearly. 

Another young Iranian told me that earlier they were talking to their friend in Israel. The friend was calling from a bomb shelter, scared. 

Someone else was texting back and forth with an ex Israeli boyfriend who used to be in the Israeli military, but was excused because of health reasons. She asked him about his family. He told her that they were okay, but he was concerned about his friends who were serving in the army. 

And this is just a small group of people that I know. On social media, I saw images of children buried under piles of rubble. Medics and journalists killed. Buildings destroyed. When something like this happens, tensions are high and you have to be careful about what you say or do. These wars are the result of decisions made by ruthless, morally corrupt goblins, and not by normal human beings. 

I see so many people on social media who cheer when the opposition loses their home or dies. But I'm here to say, don't cheer. Take heart. Both sides have families and people they love. War and devastation is tragic, and there is nothing there to cheer about. 

 

Trump vs. Elon

Although I used to teach cardio kickboxing as an aerobic exercise, I never liked watching boxing. But for some reason, I'm really loving watching this fight. You know which fight I'm talking about, right? As the s--- hits the fan, and everything unfolds, we can just sit back and enjoy the show. Two unconscionable power couple pretending that they care about the American public. We all know that it's all about money and control. It's scary what $300 million can do as Elon claims that he was the reason Trump got elected. If true, the rest of you who voted wasted your time. Perhaps by next election, it will take one billion or more to put a president in office. 

To be fair, Trump and Elon are not the only ones looking out for themselves. Just look into George Bush, Joe Biden, Hilary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and the list continues. And then we have the oh so complicated tax laws. Each line is written into law in favor of those who wrote it—politicians and their wealthy supporters. And occasionally, an average American benefits from it, but only by chance, not by intention.

Next, let's have a look at the stock market. Years ago, you were able to make money if you studied corporations and their numbers, and learned about their board of directors and their business policies. Not anymore. Why? Because they manipulate it much more than they used to, making sure that their friends make money from it. You know what I mean. Just have a look at the recent insider trading. Add to that the crummy interest on savings and CDs, jacking up the prices for cost of goods, making it impossible for people to own things, and the promotion to spend, spend, spend. The truth is that they want Americans to barely make a living, and work like slaves until they hit the coffin.

Oh and let's not forget the cryptocurrency—decentralized, peer to peer money laundering—which is only affordable if you belong to the good old boy's club, you know, the friends of the people who run everything. So, forgive me if I sound callous, but I'm loving this fight. Why? Because it feels so damn good. 

Storms, rains, and Ventura

I haven't been feeling well lately, which means that I haven't been able to do much. But as the saying goes:

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain."

                         —Unknown

So, I dug through past photos, found some from my visit to Ventura situated between L.A and Santa Barbara, and decided to make a post of it. It's a quiet area. People are nicer than people in L.A. No egos. No attitudes. Just kindness.

 

I was there back in 1872 before the storms damaged the pier. What? You don't believe that I am 200 years old? Okay, so I lied a little, but the way I've been feeling lately, I'm not far from it. Anyhow, it's been a while since I visited the Ventura Pier. I was there with a friend, and as the English saying goes, we had a jolly good time. There aren't a ton of things to do in Ventura unless you like surfing or swimming. I don't know how to surf, and although I do like swimming in the ocean, we were not dressed for it, and my friend didn't know how to swim.

We ended up spending half a day there. It was definitely worth the drive up. We started at Channel Island National Park visitor center. There are displays of Marine life, maps and information about the area, and a short film about the history of Ventura and the five islands with the voice of Kevin Costner which was a surprise.

You can then take the elevator up and enjoy beautiful views.

From there, we walked to not-to-be-missed Coastal Cone ice cream shop at Ventura Harbor Village. It can get super busy, but so worth the wait. Even though I do my best to stay away from junk food, this place has the best soft served hot fudge Sunday I have had to date in L.A and vicinity.

It was time to burn some of the calories we consumed. We had an enjoyable walk for miles and miles along the beach. You can bring your laptop and work on your writing or read that novel you've been meaning to finish. There are benches everywhere.

The Ventura Pier has great views as well, and there is a casual restaurant called Eric Ericssons Fish co which serves a decent fish and chips and beer among other things. You just go up to the counter and put in your order. Or grab a glass of wine, and a window seat at sunset with amazing views and pleasant atmosphere. You can also sit at a communal table which is what we did at dinner. People are friendly and you can carry on a nice conversation.

    

Expressing Gratitude

We often don't appreciate what we have until we lose it. Our bodies function on autopilot—we breathe, our organs do their job, and our limbs move without us thinking about it. Yes neurons will send signal from our brain to the muscle to move our arms or fingers, but we have no awareness of it, and take it all for granted until something stops functioning. And then, we really feel every movement, every discomfort, and every pinch of pain. (image by geralt)

 

I have an injured left arm. And up until recently, I never really thought about it much. It was just an arm. I'm now realizing how much work it did without me putting in an effort. I now feel every incremental shift.

 

Move the wrong way, and a searing pain runs through it. I can no longer sleep on my left side. Turning in my bed to sleep on my stomach is an agony, and don't even get me started on washing my hair, lifting it to pull my hair back, put on my clothes, drive as I turn the wheel, pick up grocery bags, and even type this post because when I drop down my elbow and use my fingers to type on the keyboard, I feel a sharp pain running through my entire arm.

 

I am now typing with my right hand, and my left arm is resting on ice. Hey, at least I still have one arm that works. And sorry if you see errors on this post. At the moment this is the best I can do :/

 

My family has offered to help. But you know how that goes. I would rather do everything myself without bothering everyone. I guess I'm grateful that I can function on my own. Of course, it's temporary, and I'll get better. I'll just drop a coin in my basket of bumps in the road. But what if I wasn't so lucky, and this was permanent? Yes, I would adapt, but what a shame that I did not appreciate my arm when it worked. Get my point?

It's important to make a mental note to be grateful everyday for all that we are, and all that we have. So, what are you grateful for? Write it down to remind yourself to be content, and to enjoy all the small moments in life. As Whoopi Goldberg's character says in the film titled Eddie: "It doesn't get better than this." (image by StockSnap)

Happy Mother's Day 2025

Mother's Day can be difficult for those of us who have lost our moms. I remember after losing mine, everyone would invite me to join their celebration for the first few years. After that, I started making plans on Mother's Day with friends who had either lost their mom, or their mom lived in a different state.

It's been fourteen years since my mother passed away. I don't think about Mother's Day anymore unless I get invited to someone's house or a friend wants to hangout with me because they're having a difficult time dealing with the loss of their mom. It's not that I don't think about my mother. I think about her every day when I look at a framed photo of her on my desk. But  I no longer feel the same sharp pain as I did when I first lost her. Of course, it took me five years to feel like myself again, and not break into tears each time someone mentioned her name. And it took another five years for me to accept that she was gone.

One of the things that I found helpful was making plans to go out with friends on Mother's Day. Another thing that was helpful was to pick up the phone, and wish everyone I knew who was a mom, a Happy Mother's Day. I found that most people really appreciated it when I called them even though they were not my mom. Because you see, Mother's Day is a day to celebrate women, and everyone who is a mom.

Not everyone takes as long as I did to get over their mom. I remember being at a luncheon gathering, and someone I knew came up to me and told me to be patient and that it took her eight years to get over her dad passing away. And just by talking to her, I felt comforted.

If your mom is alive, do not take her for granted, and make sure you visit her as often as possible. If you are a mom, have an amazing Mother's Day with your family. And finally, if you have lost your mom, know that the pain lessens as the years pass, and what's left will be the good memories that you shared.

  

Lost

I have lost my path, and need to find it back. I'm tired of all the hostility in our world. lately, I haven't been in the mood to do anything. Motivational speakers say don't listen to what your brain tells you. Get over it. Just do it. Although I do agree with this philosophy most of the time, there are times when I know I need to shut down. (image by Graham Gercken)

If you have been following me on my blog, know me from twitter, or have read my work, then you already know that I'm not just a writer, but also an activist. I'm not big, known, or anything like that. I contribute in my tiny way to help make the world a little better. One example is The Conscience, the humanitarian aid flotilla, that was bombed by Israeli drones in Malta. Everyone around the world made so much noise, pushing Malta to agree to repair it. Otherwise, all the aid workers on that ship would have died.

People don't like activists, and find them annoying. Even most writers roll their eyes, and stay away from carrying a conversation about injustice, because all they want is to sell their books, and don't want to offend anyone. But if it weren't for activists, no one would be enjoying a better quality of life and have some freedoms. Activists are the ones whose legs the rest of the society stands on. They risk their lives everyday so that we can live a comfortable life.

And I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about the leaders of human rights organizations, Amnesty International, student activist leaders, journalists, conscientious politicians and speakers, and many others who have a voice and use it to make people's lives better. I have a big appreciation for them, and do what little I can to support them. 

Unfortunately, I'm also an empath and soak up everything like a sponge. So, I need to disconnect when things become overwhelming like right now, in this chaotic world. Because if I continue, then my health would deteriorate, and I'll be no good to anyone.

So, I'm disconnecting for a bit to remind myself that there is also good in this world. I'm turning inward so that I can unblock whatever is holding me back from writing. I believe that it is in the quiet moments of life where we can find ourselves, and feel whole again. 

2025 LA Times Book Festival

The 2025 LA Times Festival of Books at USC is this weekend. I had a booth there when my last book came out in 2023. I also had a a booth at UCLA right before the publication of my second book. And since I have been to both locations, I can say with confidence that as a participant, I prefer UCLA, but unfortunately, it found a permanent home at USC.

Below are some advantages and disadvantages of having a booth at USC.

On the positive:

1. Your Books get some exposure

2. You get to meet your readers in person. This was the best part of the event for me.

3. Some of the visitors are friendly and love books, and even if they don't buy your book on site, sometimes they purchase it later on.

4. You may connect with other writers who want to keep in touch and share ideas.

5. If you can do this every year, people will begin to recognize you. I didn't do this every year, but there were a few people who knew me from when I had a booth at UCLA.

On the negative:

1. The money you invest in renting a booth, if measured monetarily, has a low rate of return

2. Getting ready for the event is super time consuming 

3. Once there, the set up is a lot of work even when you get help from friends and family. It's as though you're setting up an entire retail store, but it's only good for two days

4. You get strange people walking in who are there to see what they can get for free or to escape the hot sun for a few minutes. Some are borderline schizophrenic. I never had this problem at UCLA.

5. Although the staff promises to come by to see if you need anything, they never do. Again, I found UCLA to be much more organized, and helpful.

6. At UCLA, I had journalists and reporters visiting my booth, and I got some media coverage. None of that exists at USC unless you're a writer published by a large publishing house.

Should you decide to get a booth, here are some of the things you will need:

1. Sales Tax License

2. Credit card gadget the connects to your phone like square credit card reader

3. Some people will want to pay with a check. Let them. No one ever gave me a bad check for a book. Just check their ID.

4. Extra chairs, table cloth, decorations, stands that display your books, sales slip, guest book. free giveaways like pens and bookmarks, candy, and etc.

5. Extension cord and a folding dolly to carry your things.

6. Food and water because the lines to purchase can get long, and when you have a booth, you don't want to take too long to be away.

7. Someone to help you out, especially when you need a bathroom break.

8. Extra books. At least 20 copies of each of your books. It's better to have more than less. You can always keep some in the trunk of your car.

Would I ever do this again? I'm not sure. My experience at USC was disappointing. But if you are a writer, and are thinking about doing this next year, try to share your booth with 2-3 other writers. That way, you can help each other out. Plus paying for the booth will be more cost effective.

As for me, I'm not participating this year. I may just go, have a look at some of the booths, and buy Indie books. If you want to have a booth there, check out one of their events to see how others are set up, and chat with Indie authors and sellers to get pointers. 

Daphne's Wardrobe

A journey in nature. Among large old trees and serene walking paths at Descanso Gardens, there is a mystical exhibit called Daphne's Wardrobe.

Having had no idea what to expect, I imagined that I was going to step into someone's closet, learn about her life, and the interesting clothes that she wore. Well, I imagined wrong.

The exhibit combines works of female artists, to show human connection to nature through fashion, art, and photography. Because let's face it, in our virtual world, we have lost a great deal of our humanity, and have moved away from our roots like a tree that's been cut off from its roots.

Here, we are reminded that it's not natural for us to connect to manmade material things, and that true happiness lies in nature as we shed our exterior, and transform into something magical.

Nature-inspired dress that blends into the photograph, and can easily be missed.

Near the photographs, there are displays from the picture such as the above hat.

The highlight of the show were pictures  of the supermodel, Veruschka aka Vera Lehndorff. She was a beauty that didn't fit in at school, and later in the Parisian fashion world because she was considered too tall, gawky, and her features lacked softness. Fortunately, she couldn't care less, and pushed forward with her uniqueness. The above photo is a collaboration between Veruschka, and the photographer Holger Trülzsch. For that shot, she had to sit still for hours in the forest to have her body painted. You can find more here about the supermodel, Veruschka, and the photographer, Holger Trülzsch.

Veruschka had a turbulent past. Her wealthy father was killed by the Nazis, and she, her sisters, and mom were placed in concentration camp, and eventually became homeless. She had a hard time dealing with all that had happened, spent a lot of time in nature, and wanted to become one with the trees, and disappear.

As I left the exhibit, and the gardens, I couldn't help feeling grateful for my friend who had made a point of visiting this showcase. Without her recommendation, I would have missed out on this interesting thought-provoking exhibit. All in all, it was a great day spent in a space where nature overcomes technology.

Wake up Writers!

I'm disappointed in the writing community on Twitter. Why aren't writers talking about the illegal abduction of Rumeysa Oztruk? Plenty of writers don't want to get involved in politics. Okay, don't get involved. But really, c'mon. This isn't just about politics. This is about freedom of speech. This is about a PHD student writing an article and getting abducted on the streets of Boston by ICE because the Trump Administration disagreed with what she wrote. I don't know about you, but I feel that this is horrifying for writers. Imagine that you wrote a book or an article that the government disagrees with, and they grab you, and put you in jail. (image by: DG-RA)

Please don't be naïve, and say what does this have to do with me? Yes, this student was on a student visa, but her visa had not expired. And shortly before her arrest, they abducted Mahmoud Khalil from his home for practicing his freedom of speech. He had a Green Card. So, a valid visa holder, a green card holder, and soon they'll come after the citizens. (image by: Nondas Sapidid). 

This administration is not going after criminals on visa or with Green Cards. Oh, no. They're going after PHD, and Graduate Students. They're going after free thinkers, and scholars. They're going after you. Yes, you, writers!

Am I expecting too much from the writers on Twitter to speak up about this? Writing is not just about scene set up, show don't tell, dialogue, editing and will my book sell? It's about much much more than that. It's about having a voice and exercising that voice. I can't imagine living in a world where the government takes away my freedom of speech. Because now, not only I have to swallow all the obvious corruptions, I'm not even allowed to live under the "illusion" of democracy. It's like being in jail, and they give you a piece of old dried up moldy bread, and then they decide that even that's too much, and they take it away from you. You have nothing. Am I supposed to shut up, and not talk about it? As a writer, I might as well not exist. What's the the point when all I'm allowed to do is write nonsense, pretending that all is good when my guts want to explode. I don't know about you, but I cannot stay silent. (image by: rawpixel.com)

And may be no one gives a s--t about what I write, but at least I have practiced my First Amendment rights. And this too goes for writers living in other so called "democratic" western countries. The loss of our freedom of speech is worse than the Bubonic Plague, the Spanish Flu, the Bird Flu, or the Coronavirus, and will eventually effect everyone. Except that there will be no vaccine. Stay silent, and soon you will have lost all your freedoms. It's fine if you don't want to get on the streets with signs and banners. But the least you can do is to write about it, and make some noise. (image by freepik).

 

History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people. 

—Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Artistic Freedom

My cousin and I planned to go see A Complete Unknown at a theater in Santa Monica next to the Elephant restaurant where we ended up having espresso martini afterwards, and discuss the movie. It's on DVD already, but we wanted to support the disappearing movie theaters. If you are a creative, such as a musician. a writer, an actor, an artist, or ..., you should see this movie. It is difficult for artists to thrive unless they succumb to what is expected. This pressure on artists oftentimes kills their creativity. (image by KoolShooters)

Speaking from a writer's perspective, we are squeezed to fit a mold, and any departure from that mold renders us untalented—such as "show, don't tell," or "your book must belong to a genre or it will not succeed," and so on and so forth. Writers who are different are not accepted by the elitists, the literary society, and the mainstream editors. The critics, reviewers, and readers jump all over the writer if their work does not fit in the status quo. And this is no different in the music industry. (image by Mohamed_hassan)

Bob Dylan, portrayed by the actor Timothée Chalamet, is a young hungry musician, who at the beginning of his career, does as he is told to make a name for himself. Even so, he is direct, and has no problem telling people off when they're in the wrong. As he gains fame, he realizes that being famous isn't all that it's cut out to be, and the strain of fans following him everywhere, touching him, and never giving him a moment of peace starts to wear him down. He keeps going back to his ex, Suze Rotolo, portrayed by the actress Elle Fanning, because he feels at home when he is with her. (image by Porapak Apichodilok)

When he cheats on Rotolo with Joan Baez, she leaves him. Dylan is attracted to Joan because of her beauty, talent and fame and because they are both musicians. However, Joan Baez has a different vision for the two of them, a vision that later Dylan realizes they do not share. She wants him to continue in the same path, and he wants to do something different. He wants to write new songs and play his electric guitar which gives off sounds that people living during that time period were not familiar with and did not enjoy. It ends up with the sponsors, the crowd, and Joan hating him for wanting to vary his path. (image by Yabee Eusebio)

The next day, I was talking to someone about this who said, well, he was getting paid for his work, and there were certain expectations from him. And I get this. It is a business, the sponsors want to make money, and the audience wants to get their money's worth. But here is the thing, some people embrace fame and do as they're told. Others, like Bob Dylan, think that they want fame, but once they get it, they realize that it isn't all that it's cut out to be. Bob Dylan wanted to express his creativity and not be defined by other people's desires. What was interesting was that after everything blew over, Dylan went on to do amazing work, and his electric guitar music, and his songs captivated the hearts of audiences everywhere. The sad part was that he lost his girl because she couldn't compete with the likes of Joan Baez, and his fans. Suze knew that she would always take back stage in his life, and left him. (image by Alena Darme)

This movie brought back so many memories. My brother, and our two childhood friends used to play Bob Dylan and Joan Baez songs all the time. And some of the musicians portrayed by the actors in the movie are so familiar that I felt as though I had stepped back in time to when I was thirteen. Dylan and Baez were from a different generation, but we all enjoyed listening to their records. Yes, records and not sound tracks, CDs, and downloads. (image by Elviss Railijs Bitāns)

I highly recommend this movie, especially if you are a creative, or are familiar with their music. And although this movie has been out for quite some time, if you are able to, see it at the movie theater, because sometimes you run into the strangest people, and have a good laugh. My cousin and I were seated towards the back, and this lady seated five rows down yelled at us for speaking too loudly. Mind you, the movie had not started. There were not even commercials on the screen. My cousin and I are generally not loud people. My cousin bickered with the lady, and then turned to me, and said, this isn't a spa, which made me laugh. Later when the movie came on, the same lady was singing along with the musicians on the screen. And I almost went up to her to say, "Hey, be quiet. I want to listen to their singing and not to yours." So, there you have it. The joy of attending public venues. (image by Nadin Sh)